11. November 2016
Our newspaper has for years carried a heading, written in Arabic, saying “Death to America! Death to Israel!”
We note with joy and anticipation that the President-Elect of the United States has expressed the need for détente and cooperation with Russia and the need for ending the Obama administration’s subversion of the Syrian state.
Our hopes today go in the direction of Afghanistan. Today we make a promise to remove from our heading the phrase “Death to America” if the United States under President Trump withdraws its soldiers from Afghanistan and stops interfering in that country.
We also ask the President-Elect to withdraw the 330 occupation soldiers from the Norwegian town of Værnes as soon as he takes office. We do not want these soldiers there, they are a burden on the American taxpayers, and they only serve to worsen Norway’s relationship with Russia. We also ask that all American offensive military equipment be withdrawn from the numerous mountain storage halls scattered throughout Norway. The equipment in these storage halls makes Norway a potential target in the event of a conflict between the United States and Russia. If a withdrawal of this equipment can also be accomplished, this newspaper will substantially soften its verbal agitation against the United States and we will no longer see America as an enemy.